Abandoned Kicks
What's the deal with all of the abandoned shoes on the interstate? On my short drive during lunch, I saw three individual shoes in three different locations lying "de-feated" on the shoulder of the road. I could almost understand if they were in pairs or if there were other articles of clothing nearby. This could almost be attributed to poor bungee cord technique and the subsequent highway fodder that is obviously due to the loss of luggage, but a single shoe is hard to explain. Have you ever known anyone who drives around and casually hangs their foot out of the window? Not only does this seem extremely unsafe, but it would also be terribly uncomfortable. Even the lowest of the low-ridin’ pimps can’t get that low. I've also noticed that the shoes are generally not haggard-gnarled-Dollartree-flip-flop type material, but instead, are high dollar sport shoes. What makes this even more difficult to comprehend is this: It takes me ten minutes just to get this type of athletic sport shoe on or off the petite foot of my two year old son, yet a gust of wind can manage to gingerly whisk one off a full-grown adult appendage.
How can this happen? The answer?... It can't.
So what is the persuasion that would cause a person to chuck his left Nike-Shock out onto the shoulder of I-24? What happens when they get where they are going? Do they just cautiously limp into the IHOP? The sign doesn’t say, “No shirt No
shoe no Service”, it’s clearly marked as being plural. If guys are simply walking around
sans une chaussure, do they occasionally have to purchase only the jettisoned one? Can they even do that? I always assumed you had to buy those things in pairs.
If anyone knows if there is a purpose, please step forward. Could it be a gang-territory sign? Perhaps the work of
Juggalo's?...A symbol for “free WI-FI here”? …A cheap advertising campaign for Nike, “Just Do It”? Or, most horribly, could there possibly be a disembodied foot within?
Who knows?
03 Mar, 2005 |
Alan
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